Friday May 24th, 2013
Today was one of those days I thought about over and over again when I was pregnant. The day Gael would be a little sick and I would be clueless.
Mi Gael got a fever overnight and it freaked me out. I kept telling myself to do one thing but kept second-guessing every thought. I told myself to take off his little onesie to make him more comfortable then told myself not to do it- what if he gets cold? I knew he had a low fever but convinced myself he was fine since he was his normal cheery self in the morning- I didn’t want to be that first time mom who freaks out. I told myself to take his medicine to his sitter and forgot it about it- but of course, that’s what first time moms do, right? Oh and then there was that feeling of guilt when I got to my office- what was I doing there? Shouldn’t I be with him instead? Add more to the guilty pot when I thought about how I was feeling earlier during the week but dismissed it as an allergy attack- I got Gael sick!! I should have taken something stronger or gone to the doctor.
And he is. His temperature was normal when we got to the doctor (yes, I called the doctor and she asked me to bring him in) and he was okay.
Moments like this are not fun but certainly have something to teach this new mama.
It is okay if I do not know. It is okay to ask others. It is okay to follow your gut feeling. It is okay to question every thought, decision or fear. It is okay if sometimes I feel inadequate. It is okay if I forget things. It is okay to worry, freak out or even cry. It is okay if some of these feelings never go away. It is okay.
Babies get sick. They get fevers, colds, rashes and many other things I have no clue about. I just need to remember to do the best I can and learn from it. Today I learned so much about what to do and not do next time he has temperature- because there will be a next time! It was also a reminder to take care of me, to listen to my body and do something about it. I cannot do what I used to and just dismiss it. Now, I have a kid that needs my care and my good health.
So if you have a kid, will soon have one or thinking of having one remember to have compassion for yourself in every moment.
Remember you are human and not perfect.
Remember there is no perfect parent.
Remember you are doing the best that you can.
Remember you are also important.
Remember to forgive yourself. Forgive and move on.
Remember you will always learn- new parent or not.
Remember to validate your feelings- always.
Remember to be humble.
Remember you are the best parent that kid will ever have- the one he/she adores, the one he/she longs for, the one he/she gets excited for, the one who will always do everything to protect, nurture and above all love. Remember to enjoy every single living moment- every day. And never forget to be thankful.
I leave you with a quote from a friend on facebook and in part what inspired this post.
“…be compassionate to yourself. All of us parents are not perfect and, in fact, I think one reason why we have kids is to teach us that we are imperfect and to learn how to humble ourselves to that and be at peace with our imperfect journeys. Be joyful instead and have fun with your lil’ man!” Ignacio