Today someone reminded me of something I wrote a while back and encouraged me to read some of my posts from a few years ago. Some were very powerful and inspiring. I was transported and wondered what happened to that voice– my voice. A voice that dared and encouraged me to embrace my different.
I have been too quiet for too long and it is time to change that. In the last few months I’ve attempted to write many posts but never got around to finishing any of them.
The voice is there, aching to be loud and tired to be held back. The truth is, I’ve been making excuses for myself and possibly even using this wild thing called motherhood as a way out. Being a mom has actually inspired me to go beyond my personal expectations. It has made me stronger but also not afraid to show vulnerability. I have my son to blame for this!! He forces me out of my comfort zone and has woken up a dormant side of me. A baby shouldn’t be used as excuse for not doing what I love and what helps me stay sane. For me, writing is a processing tool—it keeps me grounded and helps me organize thoughts that would otherwise just float around my head which can get exhausting.
I won’t make this long because I’m getting sleepy and I don’t want it to become another post I don’t ever finish. I also need to remember not to over analyze every thing I write. It is okay to share simple, short but meaningful thoughts. It is okay to just want write about my baby. It is okay to not write about him too. It is okay to be human, at times be ashamed, make mistakes, forgive, learn and move on.
I’m a new mom but this shouldn’t mean losing my voice, my person or my different. This doesn’t mean everything about me has completely changed. This doesn’t mean I don’t want to socialize. This doesn’t’ mean I’m clueless or lost. This doesn’t mean I’m not getting enough sleep, always tired or busy. This doesn’t mean I cannot have an occasional beer or cocktail of my damn choice. This doesn’t mean I’m having a “rough” time. This doesn’t mean all I want to talk about is my beautiful Gael. This doesn’t mean all I can talk about is Gael. This doesn’t mean I do not know what’s going on. I am still Frida—with a little more love and in love.
P.S. Thank you for coming back and reading Frida’s Cafe. My goal is to re-design and post more frequently. I have to much to share!!!! I hope you continue to visit and enjoy all the new stuff :)